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Monday, 26 January 2009

Hmmm who wants turkey?

Beloved and I do a lot of our shopping at the local(ish) indoor market

This is a bonus because I am still on my "stop screwing with my food!" kink and you can't beat this place for that - fruit and veg and meat in as little packaging as possible with as little added as possible. No dyes and artificial flavourings and preservatives and other random crap they try to poison us with constantly. Not the meat market - corpses, freshly served. Nothing added but dead animal. Nom.

Even better, not only is it high quality meat unmessed with - but it's cheap. Especially come the end of the day and they're selling off their stock. Of course, there are drawbacks - especially if Beloved is left unattended.

Beloved: Look what I got in the meat auction! (not really an auction, more the butcher yelling "who'll give me £10 for this?" and then lost of people racing forwards to get the corpse) *staggers a little*
Me: *boggles* You killed Big Bird.
Beloved: It's a turkey
Me: It's an ostriche! How big is that thing?
Beloved: 22lb I think...
Me: *boggles again*. Are you expecting a REGIMENT to visit? What are we going to do with 22lbs of turkey?!
Beloved: Well you never know when your family's visiting.
Me: We'll have to invite the whole town to eat the damned thing. What possessed you?
Beloved: It was £5
Me: *boggles yet again* And 3 boggles are really my limit

So, we have a TURKEY. It is staring at me. Daring me to cook it in all its majestic splendour. The oven is afraid. Very afraid. It's going to take a damn site more than a fan assist to cook THIS Sesame Street retiree.

Still £5 for 22lb turkey? You can't go wrong with that. But this shows how utterly NOT domestic Beloved has. Household of 2 people? SHOULD NOT BUY 22 lb TURKIES!