Tuesday, 12 January 2010

I am not an accessory

Apparently, on average, straight women with gay male friends have a better body image than straight women without gay male friends. Odd how these things work.

See? This is a good way to report on this little news snippet.

Then we have O magazine’s ways to increase your self esteem: “And if you don't already have a few gay men in your circle of friends, you might want to add some” Hey, and pets reduce stress too, so you might want to get one of those. Maybe a new handbag since we’re talking accessories.

Oh, wait, we’re not.

I don’t know when this began but for some reason the meme of gay men being an accessory for straight woman seems to be pretty much embedded.

Gay men as friends don’t exist for the greater glory of straight women. We don’t exist as accessories to a straight woman’s life. We’re not friends because of how it benefits you. We’re people, we have value and personality of our own.

Frankly, I think this trend is not only rather demeaning to gay men, but insulting to women as well - to paint them so shallow and needy and self centred and using their friends this way - is misogynist. To paint gay men as adjutants to another’s life is demeaning.

Or, to put it another way, this fails on many levels.