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Friday, 9 July 2010

Random randomness

Beloved said it was body paint. I think he lied. I think it may have actually been that tar based stuff they use to pain road markings. I am glad that I didn’t let him anywhere near me with it. Now I can help with the scrubbing *scrub scrub scrub scrub*

I think I am resigned to having a multicoloured lover. Especially since he wants to dye his hair blue again (the man will be bald before he is 30 at this rate). Which I suppose is an improvement over his current colour – blond. And yes, he is a natural blond. And yes he dyed his hair blond. No I don’t know why either.

In garden news everything is green and growing and quite impressive. Especially the lettuce. All the lettuce. Why do we have this much lettuce? We don’t like lettuce. Lettuce is boring. And why, in the name of all that is holy, did he have to pick all of it at once?! I could feed an army. Well, a very very healthy vegetarian army that was watching its weight.

In fact, he does this with all the plants. I am having to set an armed guard on the potatoes to prevent us sinking beneath a tsunami of spuddy goodness. It’s even worse when he does it with the strawberries. look if you wait a week the rest will be ripe – now I have 1 strawberry. What can we do with one single strawberry?

Also, the beans are doing well. I don’t like broad beans. Nor does he. But they’re doing well and look like it’s going to be a heavy crop. Uh, yay?

And my right arm is killing me. No idea why, but it’s a mass of stiff pain from hand to elbow, it feels like I have a beaver gnawing on it – and twisting or turning it is absolute agony. And brain is not listening to me and keeps trying to use it. I demand much sympathy for this. It is preventing me scrubbing properly.

Summer is ordered to be less hot or Senior Partners are ordered to invest in some air conditioning. And this suit is not summer weight no matter what it says on the label. I predict provocative use of ice cubes may follow.

Work has been abandoned for the day – it’s too damn hot to breathe let alone think.