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Friday, 6 August 2010

It’s like good advice, you just didn’t take

So where did Sparky go?

Well first of all Aunt-Who-Is-Nurse (and by “nurse” I mean sadistic monster who likes to poke bruises) thinks I have a cracked rib as well – because the Sexy Doctor has wrapped my chest in binding bandagey thingies and she says that only makes sense if the ribs were cracked. I was probably too busy whining/drooling to listen to Sexy Doctor – not so says I! I never listen to even ugly doctors! So there! Personally I don’t think I’ve cracked a rib and the stretchy bandagy thingy is for… luck. Or something. Or to keep away the leprechauns. You can’t trust ‘em.

So, in addition to that I was told that I must hobble around as little as possible because of the Bad!Ankle that does not appreciate weight put on it. Guess what I did?

Uh-huh, I was also told to take it easy because of my banged head and the happy pills. Guess what I didn’t do?

And I was told that typing as fast as I could with one hand was just going to strain my right wrist and cause more pain and annoyance. Guess what I did?

I was told to rest and let my body heal for it is much abused. Guess what I didn’t do?

I was also told to sleep and not try to plough through my backlog like a crazed legal machine. Guess what I did?

Um, yeah. Did I ever mention how bad I am at taking advice?

Somewhere out there there’s a doctor writing their own “clients give me grey hairs” post and I am featured most prominently, yes yes I am. Hells there’s a whole hospital writing these posts and I make up an entire chapter.

I am not a good patient, no no I am not

For I am Sparky and I know BETTER than what them fancy doctor types say, yes yes I do. So I shall ignore

So what happened? Well I worked like a demon all Wednesday then came Thursday and… couldn’t MOVE. There was EPIC whining and Beloved? Beloved has no sympathy people, NONE! How cruel and wrong is that? I’m sure you all agree that he is being totally unreasonable and disgraceful!

Regular scheduled Sparkiness will return shortly