Tuesday, 10 May 2011

Being gay is not all about sex

“I don't know why people care what people do in the bedroom?”

“Why do people care who people are shagging?”

“If it's between consensual adults, why do you care who is fucking how?”

etc etc etc

Stop. Please Stop.

Because though very well intentioned I'm getting really really tired of the constant reduction of my love, my relationships and my life to sex.

My marriage to Beloved is not based on sex. Sex is great, but it's not all there is.

My being gay isn't about who I am currently shagging. My being gay is an inherent part of my being, my personality, the very essence of Sparky.

If I become celibate for the rest of my life, I'd still be gay. I'd also still be a victim of homophobia

When I was a virgin – I was still gay.

When I was a virgin – I was still attacked for being gay.

And, let's be clear here, let's not give the haters the slightest excuse.

Because when they object to us marrying, object to us being protected from being sacked or evicted for being gay or when they object to hate crimes or when they push hate speech or when they want us arrested or beaten or executed – they are not objecting to who we have sex with. They are objecting to who we are.

It is not about who we sleep with. It's not even about who we love. It's about who we are – and they don't like that, they don't like that at all.