Friday, 27 May 2011

invoke the Dread Lord of Fire and pass the corpses, I need a weekend

Gods preserve us, we're having a BBQ. E have so much meat that even the Dreaded Lord of Fire in our garden should tremble in fear. We shall banish all vegetables and gorge on the the tasty tasty meat.

Oh I suppose I should make a pretence at salad. You have to have some green things cowering, intimidated, outnumbered and afraid, on a corner of the BBQ table. It is known.

Also we will have booze enough to drown a horse. A big horse. A big horse with the liver of an elephant, yes yes we will.

And the television will contain nothing but cheese. Lots and lots of cheese. More cheese than a gourmet pizzaria (and it has to be a gourmet pizzaria because that pre-grated not!mozarella? Not cheese. It's plastic masquerading as cheese). So I can seal off the world and pretend it isn't there for a while, with my tasty corpses and my cheese and my cowering vegetables.

And as a bonus Beloved, fully cognisant of his egregious vacuum destroying sin, has to be in full redemption mode. Of course, I am too good a person to exploit and abuse him for this. Yes yes I am. Honestly.

I'm turning my phone on silent and taking the battery out of my mobile. Family and work are banned. I think work is beginning to recognise this as code for “Sparky be pissed, he be”. My weekend. I need to wind down, work is playing silly buggers with my hours again – and I've been saddled with a client in Sheffield. Sheffield?! Don't they have lawyers in Sheffield. And one south of the river – and I'm expected to go to them. It's tiresome, it is.

Partner who has arranged her nephew to join the firm as a trainee because he can't find a place elsewhere has told me that he has had a conservative religious upbringing and I need to be patient with him. Yeaaaah, no. This is not happening. I get shit from him then there will be hell to pay. Bad enough I've pulled night shifts and been on call every damn night this week and put up with great steaming barrows of crap from the powers that be in this firm, but I'm not taking it from a new trainee our firm neither needs nor wants. *draws line in sand and sits poutily on other side of it*

And so we invoke the Dreaded Lord of Fire, we char some corpses and we eat drink and be merry for on Monday we face great irritation!

Also, my coffee cup is empty. This is a sad sad state of affairs.