Friday, 10 June 2011

Comments, moderation, email, notifications et al

As people may have noticed for the past couple of weeks I've been trying to mess with comment moderation. Suffice it to say things have not gone according to plan. Technology, it still hates me.

In theory, while some people are on perma moderation (and you know who you are, your comments get deleted before they show their ugly ugly heads. Yes, by all means comment whining about it, I'll delete them too) most comments shouldn't be moderated. Give me a heads up if you seem to be on moderation for no reason. It's probably not intentional, more likely to be a technology fail.

I, thankfully, rarely have to resort to major comment policing (for some reason people send me nasty emails instead. One claimed it was because LJ tracked IPs which... confuses me, because doesn't email? And what would I do with an IP anyway? Is it like some old school magic? Once you couldn't let a witch know your name, now one must guard one's IP from a techno-pagan? Of course maybe people email me their bile because they know what will happen to them if they make their comments on the blog) and compared to some of my fellow bloggers I am miraculously free from the bile they have to deal with on a regular basis. Still there is crap I have no intention of allowing to defile my space.

And to the tiresome quoting of the first amendment that has landed with some regularity in my inbox: 1) you're not applying it correctly. Learn your own law before you misquote it. 2) I'm English, live in England and feel not the slightest desire to be bound by your constitution. Gods preserve me from Americans who think their laws are universal.

Now if you wish to scream “censorship” I will suggest you read my Comment Policy. The link's right there at the top of the page.. Apart from anything else, again, you're using that word incorrectly. I am not censoring you, silencing your or suppressing you. I am refusing to give you a platform. I do not OWE you a platform. If you have something to say and the big mean Sparky is not letting you say it then go to Blogger or Wordpress and make your own space. Since when do I have to be your broadcaster?

Ok, let's cover a few other things!

Email – I will get to it. All of it. EVENTUALLY. Yes I am not exactly timely at answering it, but I try. If, however you send me an LJ mail I probably won't answer it. Every now and then I look up and see “oh shit, 500 messages, I should do something about that”. So I may answer it – but maybe in 2020.

If you see something that may interest me amuse me or otherwise I may appreciate seeing – by all means send me it! My inbox is always open and I love people sending me things from sources I don't always follow. This is of the goooood :) It is appreciated and cookies will be given. I may write on it, I may not (depending on time, interest, mental strength and energy)

If you see something and decide to come to me screaming “zomg how could you not post about this?!” please feel free to eat your keyboard. I'm not a journalist, a reporter, a ghost writer, author or even a professional blogger (I don't even had ads here. That's not a knock at adverts or a promise there never will be, it's noting my inability to figure them out. Technology is hard) and, frankly, none of these are obliged to write on command. I'm not a writing monkey. I have a full time job, a full time husband, charity work, a complex and involved family and an energy and time consuming mental illness(es) I do not have the time, energy, mental strength or, frankly, inclination to be on call to write on demand.

If you're coming screaming to me demanding I denounce someone, again, you can enjoy some keyboard chewing. If you've come demanding I apologise for what some complete stranger who happens to be gay has said/done then you can take your homophobic self and flounce out of here.

Ok, if you want to show me something grossly homophobic with a “can you believe this shit” slant, by all means do. I won't necessarily run over and comment because, really, seeking out homophobes in their lairs is one of the things I've crossed off my self-destruction list (it's a big list). I already dabble in more unsafe spaces than is wise.

If, however, you in general don't give a damn about gay rights but someone you REALLLY hate has said something homophobic and you think telling me will have me swarm in as some kind of grudge warrior for you – well, kindly sod off. Appropriating battles against homophobia for your gudgewank does not amuse.

Ok I think that deals with various things on my pending list. Go back to being awesome guys.