Tuesday, 5 July 2011

Ok the Gaydate

I realise that this could sound like a fun good time – alas, it rarely is. Yes, a gaydate, to me, is one of those times when your straight friends decide that you need to spend social time with another of their gay friends – regardless of how little you have in common, because you are both gay. I actually thought I was one of the few people who used the term, but it seems to be quite common since most gay people knew exactly what I meant when I said it – and of course my fellow gaydater also knew (and used the word before I did).

So, I'm at the pub with as largish circle of friends. Beloved has avoided this social thing because a) work, b) because he has this idea that my only leaving the house with him to cling to is not much healthier than being hermit guy and c) they're my friends not his – and is there anything more awkward than being dragged to a social occasion with a whole load of strangers? He got me with the last one because I duck out of his social commitments with the same excuse. Damn hoisted on own petards!

So, here I am at the pub, nursing my drink and snarking away when I am introduced to D, she is a friend of some of my friends. Hey D, small talk small talk, small talk, moving back to snarking with friends. And then I am introduced to D again, yeah we met, hi D. Small talk. Back to friends. And then I am introduced to D again, brief nod, reflection that we've officially used all small talk, back to friend snarking and more booze... aaaand then... I am introduced to D.

Sparky: Ok, if I weren't gay, I'd think they're trying to set us up.
D: And if I weren't a lesbian. This, sir, is a gaydate.
Sparky: *groan*
D: Yeah
Sparky: Fine, let's sit and mock the silly people

D: They're watching us
Sparky: and don't they all look smug. I can almost hear them “awww, my gay and your gay are playing together”
D: *yells across the room* we're not hanging out! We're plotting the next step in the gay agenda! You should be scared, guys! SCARED!

Which, y'know means that she is both kinda awesome and also kinda worrying because this is not a gay bar and that kind of public, well, not so much outing as broadcasting makes me want to hide under the table.

However, it did get me out of awkward social occasion early (because now people were LOOKING at me) by claiming I'd been paged by the godfather of the gay mafia and that our time was nearly nigh! NIGH damn it! MUAHAHAAH!