Monday, 12 September 2011

*grumps around*

So my body and brain are sitting down and Having Words with me about this no sleep thing. As a life-long insomniac and someone who fills his days far too damn full, and a night owl by preference, I'm usually pretty good at operating without much sleep. I often potter around in a state of "damn I could use a nap".Which is kind of how I worked, I was used to it - being vaguely tired was always something that could be worked through until I could have sufficient space on a weekend to sleep myself out.

But now? Now Brain and Body are presenting bills waaaay too early. Definitely pouting and refusing to play. A couple of days of less sleep and I'm all kinds of fugly. Beloved says it's because my "normal" sleep patterns are already insufficient since I've cut back for so long - I'm starving myself after short rations. I don't know, I used to pull many an all nighter and not be this badly hit. Ugh, maybe I'm getting old

In other news, brother and my 2 cousins are lurking around still. Since they were all in disparate parts of the country I ended up being a central meeting point to discuss their upcoming holiday (cousin 1 lives in Dubai and has invited them). Brother will probably be lurking around for the rest of the week. Nice to see them all, but won't be joining them on holiday despite the many many many invites (take a hint!)

It occurs to me that except for these and the odd word with the parents, I've gone weeks with very very little contact with the Huge Extended Family of Doom. I am falling off the map. A large, very large, part of me is vaguely panicked by this, vaguely guilty by this and is demanding I contact people, remind them I'm alive, catch up on the gossip, have an argument, check the social calendar and do all the other things we're supposed to do in the family. A much smaller but very determined part of me is demanding to know why I want to do this, why I'm not content to let the rift widen and why I can't just enjoy the peace. I've compromised on an open ended "I'll do it tomorrow/next week/when I'm less busy". Procrastination works in my favour

Beloved is working bad times this fortnight. Not working more, but we've done some comparisons and we're probably going to be working at different times - meaning we'll be free at different times. Gah, I hate it when it falls this way. And he has to be away this weekend *sulks*

Work has its ups and downs. In one of those odd strings of events, many of my colleagues have had random life stuff happen that means they cannot work/have to work less/have to work less flexibly. One ironic part of this is that I dropped arsehole client, then had to deal with him 3 times more because they tried to shuffle him off on someone else in the firm. I then had to have an argument about them basically giving me BACK the client I'd dropped by having me cover the lawyer who they gave him to. After much struggles, I think the firm has now dropped him. I don't know for sure because I've adamantly refused to look at a single thing connected to his case.

While this all means more work load, it means more work load because a legitimate issue has arisen, so I resent it less than I do the "we've tasken on more cases than we can manage" or "X has screwed up/is lazy/slacking please fix it/fill in" work load burdens I usually see. Also they're much more appreciative and aware of the hours and work and miracles I'm doing, rather than treating it as natural and normal. Which is nice. Of course, a well appreciated and praised doormat is still a doormat so I am extremely ready to cry foul should I end up doing to lions' share - again.

I think I may either subconsciously trying to reward/pet/treat Beloved or possibly murder him, given the puddings I've been making. Treacle Duff will reduce your lifespan by several years, but by gods its worth it and still one of his favourites. Still, you shouldn't eat it every day... even if it is easy and quick and sooo very goooood