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Friday, 21 October 2011

Turkey!

Sparky: *sneak**sneak**sneak*

Beloved: What are you doing?

Sparky Aaargh! *surprised shocked leap for the ceiling**flail flail flail**panic**gasp**panic* Nothing.

Beloved: Uh-huh... doesn't look like nothing.

Sparky: Just putting some shopping away. Absolutely nothing happening. Go away.

Beloved: Reaaaaalllly?

Sparky: Yes, nothing to see here. Go away.

Beloved: Nope, as your loving and insecure husband, I have decided to stay next to you in random neediness

Sparky: I thought I was the insecure, needy one?

Beloved: I can be insecure and needy to. There's no rule says there can only be one. It's not like we're Highlanders or something

Sparky: Well go be insecure upstairs

Beloved: Nooo I think I will... what is this?

Sparky: Shopping

Beloved: A turkey! A giant turkey! You just bought a giant turkey!!!!

Sparky: And?

Beloved: And? And? You've been holding that bloody turkey over my head for 2 years - and now you bought one.

Sparky: I'm going to joint it now, freeze it separately and use it for several different meals

Beloved: So buying a big turkey is a goooood idea, right? And you've been unfair and mean and WRONG all this time?

Sparky: Noooo, buying a turkey when you have PLANS for it is good. When you know what you're doing and when you've already had to do it before with short notice because of someone's clueless shopping choices. That is right. You were wrong.

Beloved: Uh-huh, not buying it. I inspired you. I inspired you to buy great big turkeys. I was right, you were wrong.

Sparky: No, y'see

Beloved: *la la la* not listening, not listening, not letting you lawyer this. I was right you were wrong I was right you were wrong

Sparky: listen..

Beloved: nope, nope nope, you will twist it round, you always do. No more talking, just a victory dance *proceeds to do so*

Sparky: Are you done?

Beloved: Nope, this needs repeating in every room *singing* I was right, you were wrong, I was right, you were wrong, I was right, you were wrong

Sparky: That is going to get really irritating...