This computer is dead. It's old, it's inefficient, it's broken. A Greek guy with an abacus has more computing power.
I've been putting it off for months, but this wreck is way past its useby date. I have a blank desktop and 101 broken start menu links, in fact broken files all over the shop, it keeps freezing on me, half the programmes don't work the other half are unreliable at best. It's a hold-your-breath-moment every time you turn it on because there's no guarantee it will actually start and you have to restart, system restore, hard reset, or hit it with hammers while cursing and pleasing to make it work. It is dying, well and truly dying. About the only thing that would maybe shoot some life back into it is a good full formatting – and even then, it's dying dying dead.
So I need a new computer
The problem? It's November. And the October 20th rule applies – which means no new things can be bought
The October 20th rule came because this is the time when a wonderful, thoughtful, attentive husband (that would be me) and a lucky, occasionally gets it right, makes good guesses husband (that would be Beloved) start looking out for Yule gifts. So that's when we hear “oh I need a new one of X” or “oh, that looks cool” and then sneak out, buy it and wrap it in shiny
The problem is that Beloved in particular (not me, of course *ahem*) is of the “see a shiny buy a shiny” mode of thought. And there have been times when I've heard “oh I'd love one of those” and I've gone out, tracked it down (through many arduous battles) brought it home (hauling it through the cruel wintry weather no less) and wrapped it (enduring the hideous scourge of paper cuts and sellotape that will NOT unravel) only to find that beloved has bought himself it the next day.
So the October 20th rule. Upon reaching October 20th, no new shinies may be bought. It's a rule and it prevents duplicates, spoiled shopping, ruined surprises and running around with receipts trying to get your money back.
But I need a new computer. And I can't wait until December! (And I'm not going to go through the stress and horror of a full format if I'm going to replace it). So I neeed it noooooooow. Which means I need a loophole in the October 20th rule!