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Monday, 20 February 2012

Enough AGAIN, why are people still justifying slurs?


Roland Martin tweeted some homophobic bullshit.

And yes, it was homophobic bullshit. No, I’m not debating that, certainly not with straight people. I’ve spent the last couple of weeks editing my twitter and RSS feeds to get all the straight folks lecturing gay folk about what is and isn’t homophobia out of my face. It took a depressingly long time.

His words were homophobic. Not only were they homophobic, they were violently homophobic – and from a man who defended Tracy “lets stab gay children” Morgan. So even if I was inclined to offer some benefit of the doubt (which no straight person is OWED for their homophobic bullshit) I don’t think any gay man can be expected to offer it to this man. In fact, I’ll go further, expecting us to is homophobic bullshit in and of itself.

But, in the aftermath of another homophobic fool opening his mouth I find myself truly moved to emotional response by the many many Clueless Straight People who were positively falling over themselves with their urge to help me and all other silly silly gay men.

Ah, dear clueless, privileged straight people – I graciously accept your generous attempts to educate gay men as to what is and is not homophobia. I can only imagine how bright and shining your spirits are that you are driven to guide us through and issue you are clearly far more knowledgeable about than we.

In the face of such learned and enlightened guidance I find myself positively driven to urge you, from the very depths of my heart, to shut the fuck up.

Here’s a handy-dandy, ultra-quick guide to whether or not something is homophobic: do the gay people say it is? Yes? THEN IT IS! See? Simples! This would be because we’ve been . And you are not qualified to spot homophobia because not only have you not been stabbed with it every day of your lives (therefore completely unable to spot it so much of the time) but our whole society has a whole damn culture of excusing, accepting and promoting homophobia. And the proof lies in the huge, inordinate number of you Clueless Fools queuing up to school gay people on whether or not Roland’s words (or any one of the many many many many many oh my GODS many celebrities who think homophobia is so damn clever/funny/witty/whatever) are actually homophobic or not.

We know homophobia when we experience it. We have suffered from it. We will face the consequences of it. We have the scars from it, the fears from it, the damage from it and we are the bodies scattered in its bloody wake. Your input is not needed or welcome. Your education is unnecessary. Your instruction is unwanted. Your condescending “advice” adds nothing except to remind us that the homophobic arsehole who opened his mouth is not alone.

And, while we’re at it, don’t don’t don’t tell us how to react to homophobia. Seriously, in what possible world would you think you know better than us what we should feel, how we should respond to an attack, how we should we respond to yet another “joke” about violence against us. In fact, who the hell do you think you are to lecture us on our lives and experiences; can’t you see the utter arrogance of it?

We react as we see fit when attacked. We defend ourselves. And no, many of us don’t think minimising the attack or pretending it didn’t happen or, for crying out loud “reaching out” to the damn attacker is the way to go. We have lived this, we will negotiate it as we see fit, we do not need telling what we should do or how we should deal. And we certainly don’t need chastising for “sensitivity” or “overreaction” or similar bullshit by straight folks who can’t stand it when gay punching bags forget our place.

Perhaps, just once, just one bloody time, all you fools out there could start listening and stop talking. Then maybe we won’t have to say the same damn thing next week.