Beloved’s work place has started giving him grey hairs
(which is normally what my job does) but with all the marriage equality in the
news, he’s treated to daily debates on whether or not “the gays” need
marriage/want marriage which is apparently raging fiercely across the work
place. He’s the only gay person in the place and his work mates are
oh-so-surprised that his extremely patient and affable nature has snapped and
he is dragging arses on the carpet for presuming to know what “the gays” want
and why, in the name of all that is sensible, do they even give a damn one way
or the other since it doesn’t concern them.
His colleagues don’t understand why he’s getting ever
more pissed off at them. Because it’s fun to have a bunch of straight folks
judge the merits and worthiness of your relationship, right? Let alone getting
to enjoy it every damn day.
In general, I think my Beloved is approaching a burn out
similar to the ones I have regularly (albeit more stably because, well,
Beloved’s brain isn’t full of the badness). His work place has less of the
splodey issues as mine and he’s never had the closeness with his family to make
them sporky nor has he had a past on the level of mine – but his work place is
hardly friendly, his family not exactly warm and his past hardly rosy. He also
has a wider circle of friends that, frankly, I would have cut loose (or cut
into teeny tiny pieces) long since, one of the barriers to us going out more is
any circle of his friends is going to include some friends or acquaintances
that will make us both want to slap them before the night is out.
Besides, even if all of these were super shiny, it’s just
impossible to duck all of the shit that’s out there. Yes, inset my bitter rant
at how much living in a straight world is unpleasant on so many levels. I think
it drags us all down now and then. I think Beloved has been brewing this one up
for a while – it certainly explains him deciding, after years of being a fan to
dump his anime (though I’ve moved it into storage in case he wants to come back
to it) with a rant about how he’s sick to the back teeth of dodging round any
gay representation because of the trainwrecks.
I’m hoping to batten down the hatches, have a
straight-free home for a little while, keep the TV off and engage in some
quality hermitting. Quality alone time together to rebuild and recharge.
Especially if I can poke him to take some days off away from the “hey, are gay
folk really human” debates.
And I’m cooking and baking up a storm – yes good food
doesn’t cure everything but at least you can be upset and hurt with bacon,
chocolate and lots of cake and stuff that is very not good for you. Actually toasted things seem to be the favour
of the day – so teacakes, muffins, crumpets, pikelets and bagels ahoy! I need
to stock more yeast.
