Straight man Timothy Kurek was a homophobe from a strong religious upbringing who loathed gay people. Then one of his friends came out as a lesbian and was ostracised. So he decided to learn some empathy for GBLT people…
When, thankfully, the anchor challenges his ridiculous claim (I believe the anchor is both gay and not impressed) he backtracks and claims he doesn’t know what it’s like to be gay – but how the “label” of gay impacted him. Seriously. Do I even have to say how clueless this is? How a straight person deciding to use the label gay is appropriative and disgusting – and how there is no way he gets even a SHRED of our experience just because he hangs around in our spaces.
What the hell was the point of this?
Do you want to know what it is like to be gay? Do you know what would be another good way to learn empathy? Let me show you a really handy tool:
It’s called Google.
Because there are innumerable GBLT blogs, news sites, personal sites, youtube videos and countless other sources for first hand GBLT experiences. You could just listen to us and WE can tell you what it’s like to be us. Not pretend to be us and perform your daft social experiment as an undercover freaking anthropologist. Why would ANYONE think we need a straight guy to not only tell our stories but to decide what our stories are based on where he want clubbing?! Why do we need a book on who being “labelled” gay affects the life of the poor straight person?
Why do you need to pretend to be us to learn empathy for us? Especially since it’s conceded (apparently) that he doesn’t understand what it is to be gay with his fake, appropriative charade? Your friend has been ostracised by her friends and family – and actual GBLT person – wasn’t that enough? You couldn’t learn empathy from that? You couldn’t learn empathy from listening to us? From learning our stories? From seeing what happens to us? Because you’ll get FAR more insight into the plight of GBLT people by actually seeing it rather than playing silly games in your free time and fake “coming out”.
You know what else? I don’t want straight guys pretending to be gay lurking around our spaces so they can “immerse themselves in the gay experience”. I certainly don’t want self-confessed homophobes doing so. Those are OUR spaces, OUR safe spaces, damn it. You’ve got 99% of the freaking planet, leave us these slivers.
That’s also our social space. That space you’re coming into and WATCHING us. That’s our lives you’re playing your little experiment on.