Thursday, 13 September 2012

Another silly question

Here’s another random behaviour I don’t understand, but it is predictable since the pattern is well established: for some reason there are people out there who want to know a) whether I’d ever slept with a woman (no) and b) if I could sleep with any woman in the world, who would I sleep with?

What part of the word “gay” are these people not understanding?

So there follows a go around of “ANY woman,” “NONE of them, I’m gay!” “But any woman, ever!” “Still GAY!” “No, but, any woman in the world!” “Gay, gay, gay! Do not want to sleep with any woman!”

Which gets nowhere and leads to an escalation: “What if you HAD to sleep with a woman, who would it be?”


This isn’t an isolated case. For some reason there are straight folks out there who are desperate for me to pick out a hypothetical woman. I don’t know why, but I don’t think they realise how loaded these questions are – because there’s always an undercurrent of “if I make you say it, you won’t be reaaaaalllly gay!!!” or some similar bullshit.

And as to the question – if I HAD to sleep with a woman (or, let’s be frank, if I were raped by a woman because there’s no way my consent is going to be there – and you know that frank statement shuts them up), it wouldn’t matter which woman it was. Because I don’t find any woman sexually attractive.

Yes, I can see women who fit various beauty standard and see women who are beautiful. But recognising beauty doesn’t mean being attracted – I can recognise the beauty of children, animals, works of art and sunsets and not be sexually attracted to them either. I even see some men as beautiful and I’m not attracted to them – take Joe Manganiello. That is a beautiful man with the abs and chest I could merrily explore – but the man doesn’t do a thing for me. I’ve spent a long time carefully looking at him and, pfft, nothing, I thought maybe my libido was broken but Beloved helped me prove otherwise (and Dean O’Gorman… oh the things I would do to that man).

The whole “if you had to” question just seems to be an utter inability to listen to me;  because it wouldn’t MATTER which woman it was since no woman at all is sexually attractive to me, all women are equally sexually unappealing to me.

At which point this was followed up with “what if you were attracted to women – then which one?” And I give up. Yet again, entering these discussions assuming that I'm dealing with a colossal ignorance that can just be solved is proven to be a mistake