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Monday, 17 December 2012

More Marriage Grey Hairs



I suspect our ongoing battle of marriage equality is going to cause more headaches so I suspect this may be the first of many posts until it’s a done deal – and then some. So let’s hit some more tomfoolery

First of all, homophobes, pointing out the ridiculous, archaic elements of our marriage law does not make for a good argument against changing them. I’m bewildered as to why you’d think this was so. Specifically the laws on consummation and adultery.

On consummation – yes, if you do not have the penis in the vagina sex after you are married it is not consummated and can be annulled. Yes, consummation becomes difficult to impossible for most gay couples.

And this is ridiculous. Because the whole concept of consummation, what counts as consummation and what counts as sex is ridiculous, heterosexist and archaic. Defining consummation this way is akin to those purity ringed fools over in the US having anal sex and calling themselves virgins.

Additionally – do we really want to go there? Do you really really link marriage with a single sex act? Do you really want to invalidate or devalue the marriages of those who don’t engage in this sex act? Who don’t want to? Who can’t? Because I’m pretty sure you don’t want to go there and you’re throwing a whole lot of people under the bus in an attempt to attack us.

On adultery – which is defined as, SURPRISE, penis in the vagina sex! If your spouse engages in any other kind of sex act with someone else, it’s not adultery (you can still get a divorce under the rather nebulous category of “unreasonable behaviour” however – so why adultery needs to be singled out as a separate unreasonable behaviour is beyond me except for archaic law).

Yeah, I call bullshit archaic law which needs changing or scrapping AND I think that the people using this argument agree with me. No, really. Why do I think this? Ok, say you are married, it’s not an open marriage, you’re monogamous and you expect your spouse to be faithful and have no nookie except with you.


Now that spouse comes to you and says “hey, I’ve been seeing someone else. I gave them a handjob, we engaged in mutual oral sex and then had anal sex.” Do you think “they’re cheating on me?!” or do you think “Phew, they didn’t have penis-in-the-vagina sex so at least it’s not adultery”? Would you be ok with them doing this? Do you think they are cheating any less? Do you think it makes them more faithful?

These laws not fitting with marriage equality isn’t because marriage equality is wrong, it’s because these laws are laughably narrow and archaic.


I have to return to the liberal Anglicans again because we have a whole shed load of them now outraged by the government not consulting them, outraged by the government banning the Church of England performing same-sex marriages, angry bishops declaring that they may want the option in the future, angry vicars telling their constituents to go get married with the Quakers and come back, angry vicars saying they’ll perform same-sex marriages and it’s a “cause worth going to prison for”.

*checks watch* *checks calendar*

And where the hell were you?

When Sentamu and Carey and Williams and all the rest were in the papers calling us every bigoted thing imaginable, where were you?

When we needed loud angry demonstrations in the churches protesting hate speech, where were you?

When the Church of England was presented as a solid force opposing equality, where were you?

When bigots in the Church of Scotland were willing to break away from the church rather than support equality, why weren’t you doing the same rather than support bigotry?

You’re willing to go to gaol for marriage equality? Hah, I doubt that, you weren’t willing to speak loudly 3 weeks ago!

What I see here is at best, a desperate attempt to leap on the winning side after finally realising you’ve lost and, at worst, you stamping your feet like spoiled children because the government is telling you what to do. And I really don’t give a damn about you whining about government interference since you’ve been quite happy sticking your bigoted nose in every law concerning GBLT rights since legalisation