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Thursday, 10 January 2013

The Cat is plotting my doom



Yesterday brought the cat’s annual check up with the vet.

On the plus side, she was easy to load up (being a somewhat elderly kitty she spends 19 hours in every 24 asleep – the rest of her time being devoted to eating, randomly vomiting and sitting somewhere and yowling for no apparent reason), even if she did make her disapproval of the situation abundantly clear to everyone within ear shot.

She may be ancient, but she’s healthy – and even the vomiting is less to do with health reasons and more to do with hairballs/pure spite. And she got her claws trimmed – not declawed, but since she spends all her time asleep now she’s not wearing her claws down at all and they’re getting long. She also has trouble retracting her claws – the vet suggested some kind of arthritis in her pads. The bad side is that we no longer get to see her walk across beds/sofas/carpets and suddenly fall over because she’s accidentally nailed one foot to the floor. Then she does her “I totally meant to stick my claws in the carpet!” look. Which is followed, inevitably, by the “someone unhook me, damn it!” yowl. Then she sulks because we have Witnessed Her Shame.


Of course, she now hates everything. With the fiery passion a thousand hateful suns. When I left this morning she was practicing her “I will make the whole world burn” glare. And refusing to eat in a distinct “food?! You think I would take FOOD from YOU, you hateful betrayer of all things good and right in this world?!” fashion. Then she waits until you’re not looking to eat it all and suggest “me? I didn’t eat that! It was the fish!”. She also refused to be bribed with tuna (she ATE it, again, when no-one’s looking, but she refused to be bribed by it).

Thankfully, fiery, world destroying hatred is tiring to maintain and she needs frequent naps, so the world gets a reprieve. For now.