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Friday, 15 February 2013

I stand victorious on the field of combat



So Beloved and I are having a brief little tussle.

We have a doorstop in our kitchen. And I hate it.

Firstly, you have to understand I like my barriers. I hate open plan. I like my walls. I like closed doors. I like curtains drawn. I like a house to be made of lots of little boxes that can be nicely sealed away from the outside world. And a door’s default state should be CLOSED.

I also cook. I don’t want the door open when I’m cooking, smoke and grease and cooking smells permeate the house and sink into the soft furnishings. This is common sense.

Beloved leaves doors open. This annoys me, I’m constantly closing them after him and plotting revenge

But in the kitchen? He uses a doorstop. WHY?! Why would you want to prop the door open?! He claims it’s because he often has to leave the kitchen with hands full of plates and pots. This is not an excuse, the door is easily opened and he does that maybe once a day. But he uses the stop, which I have to fight with and kick across the floor several times a day. And the times I’ve stood on it in bare feet

I hate it, I hate it

And now I’ve thrown it away

An hour before the binmen came. Beloved couldn’t rescue it. We now don’t have a doorstop.

VICTORY!

I emerge victorious from the field of battle, battered and with sore feet, I did prevail and the doors are now closed.

Beloved is now amused. Beloved is plotting revenge. I will be ready for him.