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Thursday, 9 May 2013

Random Annoying Work Foolishness

I am tired and worn from the fallout of sheer bullshit that happened last week.

We had a case, it was long, it was complex and it was clearly going to be something that wasn’t going to get resolved for many many months. Fair enough and the customers were moderately decent people all things considered and only making it a little harder than it had to be. But they moved, to Birmingham, and since we’d only started what promised to be a long haul process all parties decided it would be better for them to find a firm in Brummie land.

Case leaves my hands and is passed on to Arsehole the paralegal to work with said Brummie firm, to transfer various things that need transferring, get any local documents or resources or information, ensure copies are certified et al.

And it’s out of my hands. Completely.

In fact more than completely because we need a little history for Paralegal Arsehole here

I’ve mentioned him in passing in the past, he’s the nephew of Senior Partner #2. We hired him because he had this very important qualification of being a relative of the boss; we certainly didn’t need another paralegal.

Paralegal Arsehole is a man of devout religious beliefs and oft-expressed Views about gay people. Sparky is a man of firm personal belief that he doesn’t have to tolerate that shit at work, especially not from a talentless new hire who’s only in the firm because Aunty Dearest threw him a pity job and is firmly of the opinion that This Will Stop. Not “or else” because there isn’t an or – this will not happen.

After much flapping and pleas for “understanding” and “different opinions” and “tolerant work place” (try to imagine my “you’re lawyers, you know what bullshit you’re saying, don’t make me spell it out” glare) SP#2 decided it would be great if we just AVOIDED each other.  Because we are 5 and on the playground it seems. I think she just didn’t want to tell her brother she sacked his son because he’s a bigoted little freak who wouldn’t know what professionalism was if it slapped him across the face and he needs his toys taking away because he doesn’t play well with others.


This is perhaps the worst solution ever in the history of mankind but it sort of “worked”, not because the firm is so big that 2 people can work here and not meet, but because Paralegal Arsehole is so completely unnecessary. And if he’s doing busy work, he can do it away from me.

Until we get to this and the problem arises. Because he has Stuff to Do on this case and the other people he works with do not know this case – because it’s my case. It was shuffled off to him because it should have been relatively basic – stuff to do but within his skill set. Except: a) him only doing busy work and him being hired because he’s a relative means we didn’t realise how FUCKING INCOMPETENT the man is; and b) when complications arose and deadlines approached he had no idea what to do and NO-ONE TO ASK.

Because he needed to ask me and he has to AVOID me, can you believe it? So the deadline arises and people in Birmingham are setting the phones on fire and things have not just been ignored but been well and truly screwed up and all because he ignored it and hoped it would go away and couldn’t bring himself to approach me and speak to me civilly long enough to ask for help (it’s possible some other colleagues could have familiarised with the case long enough to help – but no-one has time to add to their workload to babysit his prejudices).

I am not amused.

Of course, when it comes to fixing this mess the logical choice to knock heads, shuffle papers, make phone calls, fix everything and shuffle arse to Birmingham is… me.

I am very not amused.

That fixed, of course, put me behind on my standard schedule which has meant a few days of playing catch up.

I am most certainly not amused.

I have politely expressed my desire to discuss the situation with the powers that be, with some notes on how this happened, what mistakes were made and how we can study strategies as a firm to ensure that such easily avoided bullshit does not repeat itself.