Among the waves of homophobic bullshit that have been
bombarding us during the fight for marriage equality, another the group made of
concerned Christians and assorted dusty Tories and church people (usual
suspects for hatred) have taken out a full page advert in the Times (which
will, apparently, take money from anyone) on 10 reasons why treating gay people
and gay relationships equally with straight folks is naughtybadwrong and why we
should continue to be treated as lesser than the precious straighties and their
eternal privilege.
As can be imagined, these 10 points are complete and
utter bullshit. Let’s take them one by one.
Intact biological
families provide the gold standard for the wellbeing of children
Says who? Families with loving parents are the gold
standard for the wellbeing of children. Intact biological families made of two
abusive arseholes who hate each other are not the gold standard. One person
having eggs and the other having sperm and them completing the not-so-difficult
task of bringing that sperm and egg together does not a gold standard parent
make.
Children have a
human right to be nurtured by both their biological parents.
Nope – adopted children have no right to anything from
their biological parents. Biological parents of divorced families can have
limited – or no – access to their kids. Your parent(s) could be dead. In fact,
at no time and in no place does a child ever get a RIGHT to their biological
parents if those biological parents have said “screw this, I don’t want kids”.
Or if those parents have been deemed unfit to raise kids. The closest you get
is an adoptive “child” having the right to see their birth certificate at 18 –
which is stretching the definition of “nurtured”.
Gay parenting by
definition denies the child from having one or both biological parents.
You’re assuming that both (or either) biological parent of
these kids are alive. Or want to know the kids. In fact, this whole argument is
based on the idea of gay parents swooping on happy dappy perfect straight
nuclear families and stealing the kids which happens NEVER. Gay parenting
happens through sperm donation, surrogacy, adoption, fostering, children from
past relationships – or various other ways that are all linked by the fact
those children/foetus/sperm/eggs don’t have 2 biological parents setting up a
healthy happy dappy family.
But that’s aside from the fact that 1-3 here are all
IRRELEVENT because child rearing is NOT linked to marriage. If a straight
couple is infertile? They can get married. If a straight couple is utterly
unfit to raise a child? They can get married. If a straight couple is avowedly
child free? They can get married. We do not have a requirement of parenthood in
our marriage laws. Marriage exists completely without babies.
Marriage and parenthood Are. Not. Linked. And that’s
aside from the fact all of this bullshit applies equally to straight adoptive
parents, step parents and anything other than these bigots oh-so-precious
biological nuclear families.
Popular support
for the bill is based on the unfounded theory that people are ‘born gay’.
Every reputable psychiatric organisation in the world
recognises that being gay is an inerrant part of a person that cannot be
changed – and should not be tried. “Unfounded” is a stretch to say the least.
And popular support for the bill is based on a strong sense that treating
people like shit for who they love is wrong. We call it basic compassion.
All school
children will be taught that as adults they can have marriage relationships
with either men or women.
And this is a problem? They CAN have marriage
relationships with either men or women. Why is teaching children the truth a
bad thing? Would you prefer we lied to them? Hah, course you would.
Adolescents
commonly experience temporary same-sex attraction: this does not mean they are
gay
They do? Speak for yourself. I have only ever experienced
attraction to the same sex – it’s permanent. I’ve never had even a temporary
tickle for women. Is this part of the facts pulled out of your arse section of
the argument again? Besides which – and what does this have to do with the
price of tea in china? Why does temporary sexual attractions of adolescents
mean a damn thing for marriage?
There is no
evidence that SSM (same-sex marriage) strengthens marriage. In Spain marriage
rates fell precipitously.
Spain’s marriage rates have been falling constantly for a
long time:
see
this is a common trend throughout the western world. Also,
correlation
=/= causation. You may have missed it – but Europe’s in something in an
economic depression at the moment. And, again, I’m assuming these bigots don’t
plug into reality very often so may have missed the fact that Spain is one of
the hardest hit of all EU countries. Y’know what makes people put off getting
married? Or causes many relationships to break down? Why yes, that would be
poverty! Not being able to afford a wedding, or have a stable enough life to
contemplate marriage.
It’s also telling that the bigots have focused on Spain
and not, say, Netherlands or Belgium (marriage rates going up!).
But let’s scrap all that and add a “so what?” I’m sorry,
what do these BIGOTS marriages do to strengthen marriage? What about straight
folks who divorce and re-marry so many times they get a bulk discount at the
wedding registry? Why is MY marriage subject to some nebulous “does it
strengthen marriage” test when straight folks face no such hurdle? Why is my
family subject to a general public good reqirement?
Behind this bill
is a militant move to deny gender difference.
Tell me more about this gender difference. And then tell
me how this bill denies it? Because this sounds an awful lot like wifey being
barefoot and pregnant while hubby goes out as the bread winner. This is just a
random non-sequiter
‘Equal love’ leads
to unequal marriage.
What does this even mean? Can someone translate this into
something that resembles sense. What’s an “unequal marriage” and how is it
linked to equal love? Is this just a random word game?
Civil partnerships
already provide all the legal and financial benefits of marriage for gay
people.
Not quite – pension benefits for one. And international
recognition.
And separate but equal just leaves the doorway open to
apply laws differently. As well as give societal approval to bigotry. You have
deliberately created a lesser institution for gay people because you consider
us toxic to marriage. You consider us toxic. The law is written to regard us as
toxic. This is extremely damaging to our wellbeing and the respect we and our
relationships can expect to receive in society in general. This is official
state sanction of homophobia – so long as the state decides it’s ok to treat us
as less than straight folks, then it sends the message that such treatment is
ok. This is one of the foundations on which homophobia is built – a commonplace
acceptance of gay people and gay love as lesser.
In theory, I guess I should be happy that those who
oppose my humanity use such tired, weak, pathetic arguments – but I am so tired
of shooting down this crap.