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Sunday, 8 December 2013

Reason #968564 Beloved is not allowed in the kitchen

Wishing to "help", Beloved decided to chop vegetables.

We will, for the moment, leave aside the fact I didn't ask him to, that he didn't know what I intended to cook, what vegetables I intend to use (if any) or even, really, whether the vegetables he was chopping even remotely go with each other, let alone anything else I intend to cook. Also, of course, "chop" and even "peel" can mean many things depending on what veg you're cutting and for what recipe

I mean, I wouldn't mind if he'd chopped an onion. The chances of me not frying and onion in butter and garlic no matter what I'm cooking is pretty remote. All food starts with chopped onion, butter and garlic. Well, almost.

But, no, I will leave that aside. For now.

But I do object to him chopping the turnips

Because we do not have turnips.

We do have pomegranates.

I think you can see where I am going with this.

I... can't quite fathom how one mistakes a pomegranate for a turnip.

I'm also not sure why, even if shocked to find your "turnip" contains a multitude of ruby red seeds, it is quite necessary to spread those little seeds everywhere. Absolutely everywhere.


Oh, and if he'd checked the oven he would find the chilli, nicely slow cooking away, already made and in no need of any vegetables at all

No turnip needed

And most certainly not needing pomegranate.