The holiday season is always stressful, but I think for a
lot of LGBT people it has a greater chance of being full of badness or being
full of more badness. It occurred to me over the weekend when several friends
and I ran round to another LGBT friend’s house as an emergency “it’s not all
shit” party to remind him he had family, even if not in the conventional way
The thing is, we were ready or expected it. Not
necessarily for him – but for one or more of us; because this time of year
hurts all of my LGBT friends, every last one – and some of us it hurts very
badly. No-one made any plans, we didn’t sit down and draw up battle plans or
charts or anything else (and I plan EVERYTHING) but we fully expect one of more
of us will break every season, and several of us will crack – ‘tis the season
for having one another’s backs and being ready to pick up the pieces
It’s fraught for several reasons
There’s family. Family you can’t be with because their
hatred won’t allow it. Family you HAVE to be with despite their hatred making
the turkey feel like acid on your nerves. Extended family who are more vicious
than a rabid wolverine will suddenly be at unpleasant mauling range. Many
couples are forced to split up for the holiday because their families won’t
tolerate a partner – or because they have to closet for safety and can’t even
admit to having a partner.
Family is far too often our greatest enemy. Many tongues
will be bitten through before we can finally break free of them
Then there’s a whole lot more overt religiosity,
Christianity will be blared at us from all angles – and people who spend much
of the rest of the year telling everyone who we’re inhuman dirty monsters that
should be shunned and persecuted will be given a high profile. Sometimes they
won’t even pause in their vitriol and their joyous Christmas messages of peace
and goodwill for all will come with a heavy “except LGBT people” disclaimer.
Wall to wall broadcasting of a religion which loathes every breath we take is
mind numbingly awful for many of us. And people will, of course, take great
pleasure in telling us how very important this religion is to us all.
As a bonus, Christmas programming is generally even more
heteronormative than the rest of the year (which is saying something).
Top it off with the freaking Salvation Army everywhere,
which is permanently headache-worthy. They’re the worst, but you’ll be tripping
over a lot of religious charities this time of year (as a bonus, the Blood
Service also likes to step up their donation advertising, just in case we’re
not getting enough “evil sinful homos!” on airwaves).
Our already disproportionate homeless rate becomes even
more pressing in this colder months, and family tensions and forced family
mixing can cause more than a few of us to be leaving their homes unplanned at
this time of year – and the safety nets are too often manned by those very say
bigoted charities.
The season of goodwill is often worse than any other time
for LGBT people – make sure you look out for each other guys because some of us
will crack and break under the tinsel and the holly
